I am remembering an email that my truth-loving bestie sent me some months ago. It feels like years ago. I am losing track of time...but in a nice way.
She said, "sometimes I believe I'm a person, oh well, what's a gal supposed to?"
It is an all-time great quote in my opinion, and it inspired me to successfully adopt this same approach to truth seeking, because we never suffer with this attitude. It is an incredibly liberating approach for a truth seeker. It represents a nonchalant shrug of acceptance since I am totally ok with either possibility.
I am either a person or Universal Consciousness. I am either limited or not limited. I am either a thing or a no-thing. Naturally, as truth seeker, we wish to be stable in the non-dual understanding that I am nothing and everything. Why? Because it is the truth and naturally we want our bodies and minds to act and feel in a way that is consistent with our deepest understanding.
That said, I do not want the burden of wanting to awaken upon my shoulders. Or just as bad, the burden of being an awakened person. I prefer the freedom of not worrying about it because there is never a problem. I can only ever be liberated in the now anyway, and it is always a gateless gate.
It is not so much a matter of doing anything, as it is letting God lead us home. Which is a good thing because I don't know what I'm doing. The less I know the better. Obviously, we wish to facilitate the process as much as possible, which might be as simple as getting out of the way and letting it happen. I trust Francis when he says there is nothing the person can do to speed up the process.
Is it possible that just being happy is the best strategy? Gardening or meditation are both equally effective strategies from this perspective. Of course, the individual chooser or doer is always an illusion, so this approach makes sense.
I am totally ok with either possibility because God freely chooses to believe that she is Jac or Scott. It is an incredible experience believing to be separate. I can easily understand God freely choosing to believe we are these bodies with our own separate existence. Consider what God accomplished! And believing to be separate from itself is the most amazing of all illusions. That said, I can also understand Consciousness choosing to remember itself and recognize itself as itself.
I asked Rupert Spira if we are programmed to awaken. I believe he said that it is the evolution of Consciousness and offered the following metaphor as a way to understand. He told me to imagine a crushed soccer ball, slowly re-inflating itself with air until it is restored to its natural state.
So I'm not going to get upset if I believe I am Scott from time to time. It's ok, he's not a bad guy, and he doesn't remember his last real worry or nightmare. Somehow he always knows deep down that nothing matters and everything is always perfectly ok. I am learning to trust life more and more. I've decided that God exists and that it is a friendly universe.
As Francis said, believing we are a person is never a problem...unless we are suffering and then we need to investigate. When we investigate we always arrive at the same understanding. I can quickly re-establish myself as Presence when I realize there are no borders to my bodily sensations (as an example). This loop just gets faster and faster. But we don't need to keep going there unless we are suffering or because we want to contemplate the truth more than anything else in that particular moment of space and time.
The truth is getting clearer and clearer whether we listen to Francis, read Eric Baret, or dance to house music. Now that my investigation of the truth is over, nothing can stop reality from bursting into everyday experience. In the meantime we follow our enthusiasm from moment to moment because being happy is the true goal. It is also, most likely, the best strategy I can follow if I wish to be completely liberated.
This nonchalant shrugging approach may (or may not) lead me to continue blogging. There appears to be some rock painting in the future, since today I decided to paint some rocks for Chanel's garden for Xmas.
From where I'm sitting, my Bestie is doing an amazing job of living life. I enjoy imagining her dancing around her beach house, or walking along the beach, or singing and making up funny songs on her ukulele. She inspires me, and she makes me laugh and I'm grateful to be her friend.
"I like your style, Dude" - said the stranger in The Big Lebowski
In the words of Rupert Spira:
As a result of this realignment, appearances change. We see the same ‘world’, but because the interpretation has changed — or rather, because there is no interpretation — our experience ‘in the world’ is very different. Of course, it will vary in each case, but friendliness, peace, ease, beauty, spontaneity, freedom, humour and sensitivity are some of the characteristics of this new appearance.